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Lobster Homicide

Joshua’s girlfriend Kristina comes from a lobstering family, and at least one day a week during summer works on the boat. As a major treat she brought us FOUR lobster. Lobster Homicide 1 Now, I haven’t had a whole lobster since I was on a vacation in about the mid 80s, and haven’t fixed one since I was in grad school in 1982 (and then I just took them home from Boston to California and Mom cooked them). Well. My squeamishness about raw meat products (I won’t touch raw chicken, and Paul has to do the turkey until it is at least half-cooked) did me in. Here’s what happened:

We set the bag of lobsters (they spent the night inside a bag in the fridge…Paul said when he opened the door in the middle of the night to get something to drink the bag moved….) into the sink since it was drippy:

Lobster Homicide 4

Joshua picked up a lobster for us to see:

Lobster Homicide 2

I couldn’t bring myself to pick one up, even wearing rubber gloves. Somehow, awkwardly, I managed to use tongs while wearing gloves to pick one up and transfer it:

Lobster Homicide 3

Into the pot—fortunately no banging on the sides of the pot (which I have heard…shudder) or screaming/hissing:Lobster Homicide 5

The look of the steam/vapor, however is totally cool. I don’t know that I can ever use these photos for a quilt tho…too traumatic.
By the second round of boiling (pot fit 2 at a time), I couldn’t even manage with gloves and tongs, so Eli did the courageous honors (or is it dastardly deed?):Lobster Homicide 6

Then, he decided to be cute:Lobster Homicide 7

Here are two of the lobsters, truly dead and red, in the sink:

Lobster Homicide We had to call Kristina and ask her how to get them open. Answer: pull off legs and claws. Grab head and tail in hands and twist apart. Gut. Shell. Eat. That’s when I lost it. I couldn’t do it. Joshua was able to pull off the claws and legs from one, but wouldn’t gut them. I couldn’t. Paul’s shoulder is bad and he only has one hand these days (the rotator cuff surgery thing), so he isn’t able to do it, though he would if he could. So we now have a king’s ransom in the fridge, boiled bright red, intact…. if I can get someone to gut them for me, I think I can get the meat out, but who…… I know. I’m a wuss. I don’t care. I can’t kill and dismember and gut. Sigh. I may have eaten the last lobster tail of my life nearly 25 years ago.  And I feel guilty about such a wonderful gift, and not being able to live up to it.  Anyone wanna come gut my lobsters?  I’ll be more than happy to share  the meat….

9 Responses to “Lobster Homicide”

  1. Me Says:

    I’m on the way ! That’s one of my specialities – dismembering lobsters and blue claw crabs ….

  2. Julia Says:

    I know just how you feel. I want my meat already cooked and on a plate, especially seafood. How about the girlfriend, could she come and help you out?

    Will Josh be able to go to school with his leg? I am so glad that he is home and healing. What a miracle for your family!

  3. Beverly Hart Says:

    If I weren’t three-quarters of a continent away, I would take you up on that offer- with my Julia Child cookbook in hand. I have very fond memories of my one and only trip to Maine a few years ago, during which I gorged on lobster. Gutting would be a small price to pay–

  4. mathea Says:

    Hi Sarah,
    Call me… I am the ex chef nearby… I do dismemberment and all kinds of gross culinary things…
    Nice to hear that things are going more smoothly!

  5. betty johnson Says:

    Sarah–If I had transportation, I would be there by now, although perhaps too late. Think fox in a chicken coop. It wouldn’t be as neat a job as Mathea would do but it would get done.

  6. Linda Teddlie Minton Says:

    Who, me? I share your squeamitude … EEEK!

  7. Jacquie Scuitto Says:

    Oh dear! It reminds me of the live chicken that one of my roommates won at a company picnic. A whole committee did manage to kill it — but that was as far as any of us could get with it!

    OTOH I have no squeamishness about shellfish, either cooking, dismembering or eating!

    Hope you get to enjoy your bounty soon…

    jq

  8. judy perez Says:

    my dad always hypnotized the lobsters and stood them on their heads on the counter before putting them in the pot.

  9. Art and Quilting in Camden » Blog Archive » 99 things…. Says:

    […] for eating – ew, ew, ew….I stand corrected, thanks Deborah… I had clearly put the lobster homicide episode of last summer WAY out of my mind!  SOB! 88.Had chickenpox 89.  Saved someone’s life […]