My friend Jacquie the QuiltMuse sent me this and of course I had to share…. I used to live in DC and one of the highlights of the newspaper year was when these definitions would come out…. they are ALWAYS hilarious. Just goes to prove that bureaucrats and politicos (well, some of them) DO have a sense of wit!

Here is the Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. —-some of the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
3. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
4. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
8. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
9. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.
10. Decafalon (n): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido: All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic Fit (n): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

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The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, (n) An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Camden (Maine) is fortunate to have a wonderful Teen Center which is open free of charge to 5th through 12th graders here. It is mostly enjoyed by the middle school kids and younger teens (and it happens to be located a short walk from the middle school), my oldest son among them. They have had a fun fund-raiser the past year or two at least, and this year I got to be a part of it. Folks donate chairs or stools, which artists of various sorts then gussy up for sale at the auction. When I went, there weren’t a whole lot of options… I wanted to do something larger than a stepstool, so this tall stool was about it. Alas, I forgot to take a picture of it in its initial dark brown stain, which I sanded. I then painted it with the same aqua that I used on my new fabric shelves (shelving seen here — note, all photos are clickable to view larger).

Then I got out my craft paints, selected as many fun colors as I could find (bright blues were gone, and the fuchsia, alas, was solidified beyond using…sob!). The palette above is lovely, don’t you think? Here is a view of the chair while being polyurethaned (and does anyone know why my craft paints might have smeared a bit when coated????):

And a view of the front when done:

And the back:

And a close up of the seat (that light spot in the center is just that, a light / reflection):

Near Fort Cronkhite, on the south end of the beach, is Point Bonita. The point juts out into the water forming a corner of sorts between the bottom of the headlands, which head east to the Golden Gate, and the northward turn of the coast which goes beyond Fort Cronkhite up the coast to Point Reyes and more. When they started to develop the Golden Gate National Recreation Area, they opened up parts of the headlands that had previously been forbidden territory housing missiles and (later) falling down bunkers. On the headlands, there is the Point Bonita lighthouse (trust me…it’s out there….also, these photos are click-able to become larger).

At a certain point, the road becomes a one-way, narrow, twisty, white-knuckle driving experience of breathtaking beauty with the sunlight nearly blinding you reflecting on the water. Luckily, there was no one behind me, so I was able to snap these photos through the windshield…with emergency brake ON! The first part of the one-way road is a VERY steep downhill; as you look over the hood of the car, all you see is the guard rail and the ocean beneath…the drop-off is SO steep that you couldn’t even see grasses!

And to offset the sheer magnificent beauty of this scene, was this sign near the roadway that crossed the lagoon:

Well folks, it’s that time of year again: WRESTLING season for the middle schools in Maine. And coincidentally, I’ve had a couple folks ask (thank you!) how Joshua is doing after that nasty accident last summer (if you’re new to my blog, he was on his bike, got hit by car, 3 weeks in hospital with badly broken leg etc–lots of blog posts after July 17…). Well, I’m thrilled to say, not only is he healed, but he WON BOTH of his first two matches of the season! WOOOT WOOOOOT WOOOOOOT!

You could tell by the look on his face from the moment he walked on to the mat (photo above, start of first match) he was determined to win. (As an aside… if you look at the side of Joshua’s left leg in the photo above, you can see the shorter of the two scars he has on both sides of the lower leg…wicked!) Before he left the house (it was a home meet so we had an easy day getting there!) Joshua said he WAS going to win all his matches today, and he did! The first one was fairly easy—here’s Joshua pinning the other boy (who was clearly younger and less experienced)

But the second match was supposed to be a tough one–The Camden-Rockport coach said he knew Joshua’s opponent and it should be a good match. As you can see, the boys are similar in size and build, tho I thought the other boy looked a bit more muscular than Joshua.

Hah! Here’s my boy (typed proudly) moving in straight away:

Joshua pinned BOTH opponents in the first round (matches are 3 one-minute rounds, scored on points, unless someone gets a pin sooner).

I must say, it does reduce a mom’s stress level to see a pin in round one versus a win on points at the end of round three! And after three seasons, I FINALLY got a good picture of Joshua with the hands-up for the win pose!

Thanks again to all who sent good wishes and good thoughts our way during Joshua’s ordeal last summer. The blocks many sent are waiting for me to have time (after  my mom is moved to Maine and the book is done) to make his new bed quilt (will be ready in time for cool fall weather I’m sure, I hope…..famous last words?), and we are all so incredibly grateful that he is alive and well — and rocks at wrestling!

There was a lunar eclipse on Wednesday night at a reasonable hour (10 ish), and fortunately my husband remembered! I saw him hustling the kids down the stairs late –after having woken Eli up– and asked what was up… the eclipse they chorused. So I grabbed my camera. This was a first attempt:

Then I got smart and ran inside for the tripod, and got these shots… the one is remarkably sharp given my skill, camera and COLD conditions (probably about 8 degrees outside). I used my Panasonic FZ30 which has a 12x optical zoom, so I was happy!